A little bit story about my life.

Well, er.. Hello. I'm not really wanna post it today. Well, eto... ano... I just want to release my stress. So, I guess it is fine,right? Who is listen to Vocaloid music? Put your hands up in the air and shake it. Is it just me who think that many vocaloid songs are actually understanding us or eo express your very very very deep feelings / inner thought? It is also related with some of your life or expose something very deep inside of your life or whatsoever. Oh wait,what?! You don't like it? Hmph! I suggest you to listen it for once and I bet you will like it.

The truth is,  I don't really want to grow up. It is because of the people I've met/known will leave me. I'm scared of being destroyed and forgotten. It is really hurt and I can't describe it the way I feel. I really can't smile properly even though if I tried, they still leave me alone. No matter how hard it is, "It's okay. I'm fine." will be my first answer to all of their questions. Actually, I don't feel terasa but I didn't know why I feel so... so... alone. ._.  Dear myself, I sit here to write you a letter. And if you feel blue, And you don't know what you gonna do; I hope my words will give you the strength And so, you can get along with your life. Dear myself, I know life has been hard. Everything will get worse from here. I know that you've tried so hard to be your truly self But at the end, you still the same person the you've used to know before. You are really hoping the light will show you the way; And take your hands to take out from the darkness. Dear myself, You must always pick up the broken, I know it hurts now.  I didn't know how many times you've felt this, but I hope you will be okay. Please don't cry. Please don't hate yourself.. Don't worry. Everything will be okay. Smile! Laugh! Everything will be fine.

I'm scared of being destroyed, 

And scared of showing my weakness 

I don't show it on my face, I awkwardly laugh; 

But it pains me, it's unsightly, it's miserable... 

With all these lies I've painted on, 

The dirt will never wash away 

There was enough kindness that I wouldn't be hurt, 

But even that... is going away... 

My feelings can't turn into words 

As they're moved from inside to out... 

I laugh, I laugh, I laugh, 

But in my heart, I'm really crying... 

It's so sad... 

You're always so pleasant 

Whenever you talk to me 

Your innocent appearance illuminates your heart; 

It's so bright, I can't even see anything else... 

I've always been this way; 

Despite people's kindness, I was lonesome, 

And I couldn't even notice anymore... 

I was always moping, 

But still you were there, holding my hand so tight, 

Sure to never let me go... 

I wanted you to think I was a kind person, 

So I lied yet again... 

But your innocence peered into my heart, 

And saw the real me... 

"Smile! Laugh! 

Since I understand, since everything will be fine..." 

Your gentle words stuck right into my chest, 

And so I cried... I'm so glad...